Lil Sexy brings you her personal recap of The Bachelorette’s season premiere plus takes you on an exclusive tour of the Charlotte house!

After watching the premiere of the Bachelorette all I could think was … “Poor Emily!”

Did ABC go to a d-bag convention to do the casting? And did all the guys go to the same Super Cuts Jimmy Clausen did? Because what’s up with their hair? But more importantly, what’s up guys bringing an egg, a boom box, a glass slipper, and a helicopter to meet her?

There are some roses among the thorns on there however. Such as Dough, the single dad who wooed Emily with a letter from his son. He was keeping it real and has values that Emily wants and deserves, hence the reason he got the first impression rose.

But after touring Emily’s Bachelorette pad in Charlotte, she should have said screw the guys and just picked the house. The South Charlotte palace has a pool so big it’s like a water park and botanical garden in the backyard, a ballroom (perfect for rose ceremonies), an elevator, and even urinals in the bathroom! Check it out … It’s on the market if you have 6 million dollars to spare.

Though we all know very well, a monstrosity of a mansion isn’t worth anything if you’re living in it alone.

Emily was reluctant to accept the role as Bachelorette at first, but they were willing to bring the show to her in Charlotte and work around her daughter’s needs … so why not? It’s kinda like filling out a national classified ad or match.com profile. But I can tell you that between the house and production, it’s good for the Charlotte economy. So regardless we should be thanking Emily!

And I commend her for putting on a poker face when cheesy guys came out of the limo.

I can’t decide what’s worse, too much testosterone or estrogen in a household.
When Kalon arrived in a helicopter all the guys started being catty and hating on him like a bunch of girls. Worry about yourself and Emily, guys!

And what is up with the dramatic music during the rose ceremony? Is it a reality show, or horror movie? And then Chris Harrison comes out and makes a dramatic speech about the last rose (duh, we can see it, Captain Obvious)

I can’t wait to watch next week because I want to see more of our city … and see which guy she told to get the (bleep) out in the preview. I’m guessing its helicopter guy!

Watch the tour here!