First of all, how much would it suck if you had to go back and confront all your ex boyfriends sitting down like a panel, fighting amongst each other and asking for an explanation? Well luckily for Emily Maynard, last night all she had to say was, “it’s a dating show, and I can only pick one winner,” because they knew what they were getting themselves into.

Last Night’s Men Tell All was a d-bag convention with Kalon and Ryan as the head speakers. I was releaved when Chris Harrison said, “I can speak for ABC when I say Ryan is NOT the next Bachelor.“

And don’t get me started on Kalon … the audacity to call Emily’s daughter baggage made me want to stuff him into a suitcase and check him on a one-way flight back to London for etiquette school. He reminds me of Scott Disick from Keeping up with the Kardashians, the king of arrogance and douchebagery.

I am glad she went “West Virginia backwoods hoodrat on his @$$!”

Emily was cracking me up, “I could be engaged to Kalon right now, thank God for Doug!” Chris Harrison: “Do you really think that would have happened?” Emily: “Noooooo!” she said with a sweet, innocent shake of her head. And then when Kalon tried to apologize she told him he should be a politician. YOU GO GIRL!

I know so many women do, but I don’t feel so bad for Sean. He is going to pull so many girls now, he’ll be just fine. Is it just me or does he look like a Ken doll? He and Emily would be that picture perfect Barbie and Ken couple, but as we’ve seen from Emily, she is much deeper than that and wants something much more.

Having the pleasure of knowing Emily personally, I can attest that she IS that nice in real life. And even prettier in person too. So much of reality shows may be scripted and as fake as a 90s sitcom, but that genuine, sweet, loving mom you see on TV is what you get with Emily. And don’t let US Weekly or The National Enquirer tell you different. Just like you and I do, Emily has friends who will stab her in the back, and unfortunately in her case, that means selling a bull-crap story and childhood pics to the tabloids. The tabloids are ruthless too, they’ve even been stalking me trying to find dirt on Emily, and I went Virginia backwoods hoodrat on the reporters (a.k.a professional haters).

So many of them cried throughout the show I felt like I was watching The Bachelor, you know, with women. I was worried one of them would start their periods. Take Chris for example … but keep an eye out for him and Blakeley Shea from Charlotte on The Bachelor Pad. That was her he was hooking up with in the previews!

So who do you think Emily is going to end up with, Arie or Jef ?

I am not going to gamble on my girl’s heart, but I would like to put my money on whoever makes her the happiest … because that is what she deserves.

~Lil’ Sexy Brittney Cason

Take the tour of EMILY’S BACHELORETTE PAD with me